Sunday, December 23, 2012

Pork

Pork roasts are the main consumption of many animals. That being said, it is wise to find yourself in the forest within a manly cave or a kind of reckoning bell. I have come to believe that it is the will of humankind that I have to locate the jewels within the tightest crevasses inside my heart. Only then can I truly be invisible to my enemies and create the kind of lactose environment that I oh-so-much crave.

I have written many times on the subject of cheese, but this is the one that sets me apart. If only I could find the kind of woman who would be so interested as to locate my dessert hands. They really need me this time of year and I find that the only way to purchase them is to pass judgement on my peers by peering into their souls to find which shoulder shrugs at the sight of my nails.

All of that aside, I have not yet found my real chops.

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